HURT

"Why do you try so hard to stay with him?"

"You don't know how happy I am with him" Aubrey tears rolled down her face but she wouldn't lift a finger to brush it away.

"He beats you!Dammit" John shouted.

"That is a small part that has nothing to do with the wonderous moments with him. I know I have been with many relationships with married men before and they always go back to where they belong. Their promises are nothing compared to Dave. He always comes back to me. Every weekends. He always stay with me."

"And now, you have beaten him almost to death. Do you know how horrible I felt going to the hospital seeing him there bleeding and fighting for his life. You have taken him away from me....why! Why!

"Because you think he is wrong for me!! Is that it? Damn, I don't care of what you are thinking! Or your self-righteous morality that you try to impose on me! Look at me now...are you happy now? Seeing me like this..."

"If you try to go on looking for him then you are more than a fool than you are before!" John staring at Aubrey in the face with his fist shaking.

Shut up! Shut up! You are not my brother anymore you have brought nothing in my life but misery. You try to impose your right and wrong on me. This is my fucking life not yours so stop imposing your truths on me.

"I care for you Aubrey..."John replied softly.

"Care...You care for me...I have lost someone so dear from me...i have lost someone who makes my life worth... tell me...do you really care for what I feel...or you just care about the world and people around you fitting in your morality and right and wrong stuffs...Fuck your world...this is a real world John...wake up

"No! Aubrey you wake up from the real world. Its you have been dreaming all along. Making a fairytale no matter how impossible it is..."

"I am not making a fairytale...I am fully aware of the realities that abounds me...I am just making myself happy...how hard is that for you to understand...small things make me happy...those small things make my life beautiful..." Aubrey looked away and ran towards the door.

The door slammed.

"Aren't you gonna go and find her?" Sandra told his son.

"I can never understand her mom..."

"You can John...you can...you just don't want to open up your world to her...I don't blame you really. You both grew up in different ways and the world as you know it and your reality and you are so adamant in forcing your truths to people."

"Its not about right and wrong mom. Its just that I don't want her to end up miserable and regret her choices in life..."

"I know. I understand, she's my daughter after all. Nothing is more painful than seeing my own daughter in a misery she can't escape. But did i try to stop her...no john, i didn't because there is more to life than the end that we wanted...there is more to life than the future that we think of."

"Do you see that beautiful rose, John." Sandra pointed at the vase near the work desk of their father. "See how pretty it is right? If you hold it, smell it, feel it and just understand how beautiful it is you will feel good about it..that is something priceless...at the moment....in that moment.

But when you think about the future, you will see how it will wither and die, you might think it should not belong to this vase and rather be in the garden where it truly belongs, you may picture out its thorns and how difficult for you to hold it no matter how much you try...you wouldnt like the future...because the future is painted by you.

BUt it still blossoms beautifully despite whatever your thought are...it will remain beautiful if you keep that moment when you held it today and etch it in your memory...so everytime you close your eyes you go back to that...perfect moment.

This is where Aubrey and you are different. You value your future. Aubrey values her present. I'm not saying that Aubrey is right and I am not saying that you are wrong. You just have to learn and understand how wonderful she feels when he is with the man he loved most. She never loved this way and will never be in a thousand lifetimes, so even if its the wrong man in our eyes...he is the perfect man for her in this lifetime.

In time, Aubrey may or may not regret her choices. But we both know, everytime she closes her eyes, it brings her back to her perfect memories and she will smile whole heartedly. And she will be happy, despite of it all.

All of us wanted to be happy for her anyway, especially you.

So let life be for her and paint it in her own ways, no matter how chaotic or incomprehensible it is for us at this moment...you know the end will always be beautiful for her.

"Mom, I just wish to tell her I'm sorry for doing that to Dave. I have caused her sadness..."

"And yes, you are guilty by what happened and by escaping that guilt you try to justify that it is the right thing instead of apologizing to her and to her man. And you continue to impose your right and wrong to her to take away that guilt...I understand that son. Don't worry."

Besides...Aubrey loves you deep inside. Like I said, let everything be...everything will be alright. Don't worry.

Luan Roldan