Understanding Moments VIII. Family and Bonds
 | On his darker days, Akira would stay outside the dojo and spends his time on the zen garden. There he sat numerous times looking up to the heavens and always with a deep sigh. He doesn’t notice the cherry blossoms anymore. For such one beautiful flower, perfect even as he sees before, was more of a haunted memory of Ayame. Someone approached him from beyond. Is there something wrong? She noticed his long face and the way he slumped over. She noticed how it seemed the world crashed down on him. Nothing he said. Its not like you. She said. I’ve known you for so long.
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Sakura was his childhood friend. She was more than a friend to him, she is part of the family. She was naïve, playful and sweet little girl. The only world she knows is the dojo and the people inside the dojo. They both grew up together, for most, she was the only person who can understand him despite his anti-social behavior. She has seen him grow and change into a man. A girl who observes and notices him even in a distant. She was good in putting up with him, even in sword fights, she is more than willing to fight with him toe to toe with no hesitations or whatever. Yet, Akira would always let her win just because he was naïve and nimble. She is pure hearted, she was never outside the dojo so her heart was not tainted by evil deeds. She never knew the world that much and its harsh realities. Her life is the dojo and the family she has, including him.
Sakura, I have to tell you something. He said slowly.
I have fallen in love with a woman.
Wha….t…. I can’t believe you have fallen in love with someone.
You don’t know her. She’s a stranger to you even to me.
She didn’t ask for a name. She was more puzzled of how and why he came to that point. He hardly knew the woman, and all the while she thought, that his world was just like hers. The dojo and the family. But more than that, she loved him all her life.
She was stunned yet, she regained composure. She wanted to be strong for him. She doesn’t want to be weak in front of him.
Do you love her that much?
Yes.
Do you want to be with her?
No.
He can’t say it that he lost her that day. He can’t even talk even of the event that led him to his despair.
I let her go…I didn’t held on that long.
So what are you going to do with your life now.
Aren’t you happy with the dojo anymore? Aren’t you happy with the family here?
Aren’t you happy staying here with me? There she said it already, she poured her heart out on that question. The dojo is your whole life, we grew up together here. And what about the newcomers, the children that is longing for your teachings. What about the class? Truth is, she wanted to say, what about me? But she doesn’t want to include herself into it, because she is selfless and sacrificial to the happiness of others…even him.
You can’t just stare at the moonlight every night or stay in the garden in your whole life. You got your responsibilities and don’t worry, you’ve got me to journey with you.
She then smiled to cheer him up. Come on, I’ve cooked something for you. You’re going to love it I promise. He looked at her and he didn’t understand why suddenly he felt grateful and blessed. To be loved that much.
If the person that cared for him knew of how many lives he took and destroyed.
He lived a normal life again in the dojo. Everything was peaceful and everyone is happy. He learned to let go of himself and never thought much that time. As if everything was buried and forgotten to the world. Yet, she knows him to well, several times she asked him to look for her just because something tells her inside he was never the same that day. Yet, every time she poses that question he just shrugs it off, not minding it, not tolerating it even.
He was at peace and happy.
He fell in love with her more each day.
Yet, she asks…still.
How is your heart now?
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