Understanding Moments IX. The Hidden Letter

To my Everdearest Aubrey,

Let me say this

with all my heart that

I love you so much.

Do you still remember how I much wanted to curl beside your side when I am about to sleep. Do you still remember how you looked at my face and I just smiled back. Do you still remember how my eyes glowed with happiness every time I am with you. Do you remembered me one time when I was about to leave and there you are standing in the gateyard…and I came rushing back to kiss you.

I have loved you so much, didn’t I.

The scent of the flowers in your courtyard. You hated them didn’t you, but you we’re stubborn and everyday you gave me the flowers that you hated… because it made me smile. And you always put that disgusted face of yours every time I tease you to smell those.

You are so funny.

 Do you remember the rooftop where I made you cry so hard. How many tears have you cried? Countless perhaps. Yet, every time we see each other everything comes back to normal and you laugh so hard, that your tears flow again. Do you remember the plane where we travelled together and you searched for the sleeping giant underneath the mountains. You laugh your heart out for simple things. Do you remember the tree where we used to act like silly little children playing and laughing and people around us are thinking how foolish we were. Yes, I still remember how you make me do stupid things.

I miss that laugh of yours.

So much.

The dark alleys where I stop just to kiss you. Those kisses are so breathtaking and holding your hand just like I remembered it…makes me want to keep you forever. Those dark alleys where rain pours out and we rushed in. The dark alleys where I got you on my back for simple sweetest moments.

We really had beautiful memories didn’t we.

Do you remember how many times we’ve broken apart. I said my goodbyes and you said your goodbyes and we did try to live different lives. Resist so much of you and you resisted so much of me. Yet, under that elevator we held hands. It’s confusing isn’t it. We didn’t know exactly what to say. But usually, we just let things be and we got back together again.

Truth  is.

                My world was never the same when you came into my life.

Every moment, even simple ones are so beautiful.

I could say a thousand stories and a million I love you’s to you.

But being in my arms everytime I sleep.

And holding your hand.

Is perfect enough.

I couldn’t ask for more.

And now since we’ve come to another goodbye.

Maybe our really last one.

I really don’t exactly know what to say.

But…

Within my whole heart and my soul.

Thank you for loving me

And letting me love you.

Please feel my heart – it is still beating for you as it promised.

But I have giri…someday you will understand.

 Loving you wholeheartedly,

-Dave Dawson -