Aubrey crossed the street down to the alley on northbrook. He saw Dave several meters away walking towards her direction. Aubrey's heart beated fast as if its her first time to meet him. She always find it refreshing to be with him, she always felt that there is always a new discovery when she was with him. Its been a year now since they first met yet, Aubrey still felt she doesn't know him entirely. Even though Dave is warm person with a pleasant smile everytime she is with her, she still feels Dave is as cold as ice inside or is it just her having trouble connecting to him. Yet, as she draws closer to Dave slowly her thoughts on him faded into oblivion. What matters most is her with him.

“Ahem! So what's up Bree? Did you meet up with your brother?”

“Fucking asshole!... He's the same as ever. Nothing changes with him. He's a damn –“.

“Shhh...shut up Bree...” Dave purses her lips with his index finger. “You don't have to talk like that to your brother. Just let it go Bree, your temper won't do you good anywhere.” Dave gave off that charming smile in a quirky way that seem to infect Aubrey in an instant. Knowing Aubrey would smile he then gave of a humurous smirk.

“Com’on Bree, lets go somewhere else.” He then grabbed her hand and he slightly gave a pressured grip to tell Aubrey to calm down securing her. Dave then hailed a cab and both were silent for a moment inside the cab heading towards Ridgewood Hotel, but that silly smile on Dave's face is still present. He at times take simple glances at Aubrey every once in a while just to check on her mood albeit... her feelings.

Dave moved her hand towards her hand. He doesn't just want to feel her but to pass a message too difficult for words to express. In his head, he tells her how lovely she was and how pretty she is...in his head he tells her how he loves her so much. Aubrey looked at him at the eye trying to figure out Dave and what's going on Dave's mind but everytime Dave gave off that silly smile and a childish act of looking away to tease her it just bewilders Aubrey so much that she forgets how the world works. She is now in a different world, with him -- their world.

Then suddenly, he voiced out and a sudden change in his facial expression. Somewhat a different person, there was no smile but a straight face coming from Dave.

“I don't want you to hate your brother, not a bit Bree.”

“After all he did to you and you just just tell me something like that… how uncomfortable Dave.”

“Bree, your brother has to do what he has to do and what he thinks the right thing for him to do. I don't blame him though. And I have accepted that fate with you.”

“Huh? Are you for real? Do you know what you are saying doesn't make any sense at all - I nearly lost you at the hospital for what he did to you. I can't forgive him, never!!” Aubrey's tone expressed relentless anger with a clenched fist on her lap.

“I know Bree. I understand. You have to do what you have to do as well. You are just basically the same with him.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Aubrey shouted at Dave. “You understand, you always try to understand and you always explain and seemed to think you have always the right answers at things. And when you do that, I always get the feeling that I am wrong and I am always being taught a lesson in how to live my life. Why can't you just fight back?”

“Or better yet, why can't you just fight for the choices you make and make a stand for it, make a decision and find a side. You are always in the middle and you always play safe. Now, for the first time I want you to make a decision and find a side. Me or your family? That's it! And I want you to choose!” Aubrey almost screaming to Dave now inside the cab.

Dave was stunned. He doesn't want to fight back at Aubrey and he only gave a deep frown. Dave tried to calm himself down and held her hand more tightly than before. He was breathing in conscious intervals like he used to practice in meditation at home. This helps him to think clearly.

“What Dave? Do you always do that to me? Giving me the silent treatment and letting me get lost in your endless puzzles and riddles. Oh common Dave, honestly, sometimes I’m tired of thinking about your puzzles and riddles, I’m tired of guessing your thoughts, I’m tired of not knowing what I am to you...I am so tired.” Aubrey melted from anger to almost crying. She is trying to hold her tears back. She wouldn't want Dave to see it. She wouldn't want to Dave to see her weak for Dave loved her for being a strong and intelligent woman that she is.

“Dave!!!”

“Dave --- say something!!! And stop thinking dammit.”

Dave didn't looked at Aubrey's eyes. He then instead looked away through the glass window of the cab grazing through the city lights. He wasn't thinking even. He was just merely looking at his reflection on the glass being muddled through colored lights. He was looking at himself. No thoughts.

“Fuck!” Aubrey let go of Dave's hand. “And now you are looking away at me! You are the worst kind of person I have ever known, as if I am insignificant to you. I am here at your side and you just looking outside that window. Fuck you Dave!” She crossed her arms and looked away on the opposite side of the window where Dave is looking. Her tears falling slowly on her cheek but she is still fighting it.

Dave thought of stopping the cab and walking away. Troublesome he told himself. He held the door knob getting ready to stop the cab. Yet, he thought of her. He thought of how Aubrey have been through just for him. He then closed his eyes and tried to recall as much as possible how everything started with them. He then started to think of the shuji shuriken incantation.

"The trouble with people is sometimes they tend to forget the beauty of how everything has started. If only we could see the people we cared for without any colors or past then we could approach them with the fullness and sincerity of ourselves."

Dave closed his eyes and recalled how he fell in love with Aubrey.

"U". Being.

He imagined her lips kissing him on the first night they wandered together as strangers. How he felt that day and how he shakes with delight holding her into his arms. It was ecstatic and surreal. He softly bites her lips telling her how he was thankful of having her. He recalled her soft tender lips as he kissed her. They both didn't rush but rather took every second of it to feel each others mouth. He took a deep breath first and slowly he dipped his tongue inside her where their tips touched. Never rushing but slowly feeling it. He wanted it to be perfect and memorable. Everything was in slow motion now. He pulled her closer to her enough to feel her heartbeat. Her body touches hers and the tingling sensation he felt was unsurmountable. He wanted to feel her so much that left him wanting more of her. He looked inside his heart for that moment and how it beats for her that day. That night he fell inlove more and more for her.

"Mu." Non Being

He painted the picture of the moment that night. Where the moonlight was the witness to the love he has to hers. The wind that kisses her cheeks and blowed her hair in that perfect moment he was staring at her. He felt the coldness of the air that night and the stars that flicker in the background. They stood in top of the mountain top where the crickets sing their songs and the leaves brizzles in magical symphony. There she stood in front of her holding his hand under the dim light that enhanced her beautiful face. She was magnificent and dreamlike for him. The night belonged to them. The earth uplifts them both. The wind teases them and the whole scenery celebrates both of them.

"Suigetsu." Moonlight on the water.

He looked at her like a still painting and in awe. No matter how difficult the real world for them in that moment it was clear that he loves him and she has captured his heart. He tried to decieve the world of his odd realities and find himself wanting to stay in a dream. He craved for her so much despite the battles inside of him for a probable illusion and being decieved by a woman. He will not be falling for beauty nor be deceived by it, he is stronger than that he thought. He is wondering if it was too fast for the both of them or fail his chance by being too late. He was falling for her yet all he need is her arms around his neck and the warmth of her smile. She was happy indeed and so was he so much more.

"Jo" Inner Sincerity.

He keeps in touch with his inner self as he was holding her. He dragged her into a slow dance with the nature as its music. Silence was all that was needed to look into his heart for her place. He never talked much because he was keeping in touch with his heart and spirit. He smiled on the outer layer for her to see but he was meditating inside of him. Like the usual zen meditation, let your thoughts and spirit wander yet, focused on inner sincerity soon everything will takes its place. If it is love then let it blossom into a beautiful friendship and will persevere through time and trials. Yet, upon looking inside himself he looks for answers on how she will accept him as he is, despite all odds.

"Shin." Master of the mind.

Clarity was important to him. It is important how he understands her place to him. He touches her face and looking straight at her. He smirked and giggled. He was having fun and it was so easy to be with her. There are no apprehensions and no second thoughts. It seemed to him he has known her eversince yet she intrigued him and hers to him as well. He felt comfortable.

"Sen." Thought precedes action.

His thoughts were focused all on her. He didn't mind anything else but her. He grabbed her closer and kissed her gently and slowly. He grasped her shoulders and waist with an erotic intent. He kissed her lips more and slowly moved to her cheeks. He wanted to have her feel his breathing. He wanted her to hear his moan. He moved his hands towards her hips and find himself wanting to touch her body. She smiled at him. His heart beating fast now and he wanted to say so much how much she has grown inside his heart.

"Shinmyoken." Where the tip of the sword settles.

Chances and choices was defined at that moment. The risk of loving him and the risk of loving her. He thought of what if she knew how easily she could crumble his world and how weak and vulnerable he is. His world was destroyed once will he risks having it destroyed once again. He swore never again and tried so many times to resist, yet at this defining moment, he was weak to her. He held her hand tightly and tries to see beyond her eyes...he saw purity...he saw himself inside of her.

"Kara" Empty: Void. Virtue.

He then looked at imperfections. Both his and hers. It is not for the purpose of judgement or discrimination but rather understanding where he is empty and how she fills the gap and where she is empty and where he fills that gap. He is trying to understand where he would fit in to her and she to him. With this void, both find purpose of existence: to exist for her and him to her. Yet understanding this wholeness and unity he also understand the another aspect of emptiness where it is a virtue: to remain that empty and not full... so that he will continue wanting her... and she wanting him. Yet, from his thoughts coincidentally connected to her. She never asked questions that night and would rather have it unanswered or she might have thought of it as pointless. He never showed much of himself to her that much he better let things off the way they wanted it both.

"Zero" Where the Way has no power.

At that night, at that moment fate has brought them together. There are things in life that they have no control off and to submit to is an only option. He is loving him now. He has no control of his feelings and to feel is neither a choice nor a decision to make but a natural inclination. He kissed her again this time, he whispered to her...I love you.

Dave opened his eyes again, he still on the cab with her. He slowly moved his hands to hold her. He was renewed again by recalling why and how he felt in love with Aubrey. By closing his eyes and cutting the nine ideographs of shuji shuriken, everything was clear to him as if it happened as yesterday. It was not about the passionate nights that they had and there is more to it than what made him want her still until now. He gains clarity and understands why he took her into his heart.

Aubrey didn't try to wipe out her tears. She wanted to show him how every tear that falls down is to tell him how she loves him. She then faced Dave and said, "Are you leaving me now because I let you choose? Was I being unfair to you in asking that?" She sobs.

Dave slowly moved closer to her and touches her face. Her heart pounding and her hands trembling yet he held them tightly. "No, Bree... you were not being unfair to me at all. You have been through a lot because of me and I should be more ashamed of myself for being this way at this moment. I lost touched of why I loved you in the first place. You know I would choose you...and that explains why I am here with you at this moment."

“Yes, you are with me now. True, what about tomorrow? What about the day after that... I want to be with you…” Aubrey spoke softly and calming down a little.

“Do you really want me to be in your future…do you see me there???…have you really decided to have only me, and have me only until the end and nobody else, Bree?....Again, bree…do you see me there…”

“…”

Aubrey didn’t speak a word. She can’t see him there. Maybe a shadow of him but she never see a future that has him within it. After all, she just considered him only – an experience. With that fact, she was more confused now than before. If he was just an experience to her why did she fought for him, why did she suffer for him, why did she stay with him, why does he matters to her that much and why does she love him so much despite not seeing him there in her future. No matter how much she tries to deny herself of certain facts – he remains insignificant to her…he is just a mere experience nothing else.

She can’t believe herself how little value he is within her.

Dave broke of the silence between them. “You don’t have to answer that. I know from the very start that in the long run I will just be a part of your past. I know that I am not part of your future, bree… but listen to what I’ve got to say to you just now…

I will love you even if you won’t love me anymore – this is not about you but about myself and this is something that I myself have chosen to believe in and will continue to stand for…

“…please don’t forget me…”

“A-a-re you saying goodbye…?” Aubrey stuttered.

“No, I’m not saying goodbye to you… I will be giving you your life back… find yourself, find if I am there…and in your journey… if you feel that I am still a big part of you and understand my worth to you… please - do come back…

“I will be waiting for you…”

“By then, I can fully submit myself to you and give you my world - finally.”

(To be continued…)